Popcorn Biology: The Tree of Life (2011)

Tree of Life

"We're gonna make a religious movie about a father and his sons doing ordinary everyday shit, so the title will have to reference evolution. Obviously."

First of all: fuck you, The Tree of Life. You suck. You suck so much that in a cinema of Bologna the film scenes where shown in the wrong order and NOBODY NOTICED IT for a week. And actually, the wrong version was slightly better than the original.

It’s not even the fact that this film is so christian that even the goddamn dinosaurs in it are christians (also, dinosaurs? What the fuck?). It’s just that it’s so unbelievably boring.

Anyway, Popcorn Biology should be the section where I discuss the interpretation of biology in movies, so let’s start. First of all, calling what is basically a creationist movie The Tree of Life, a title that basically screams “evolution”, is just an insult. And yes, it is a creationist movie (in every scene everyone is praying god and saying that nature sucks compared to the divine grace), I don’t care if they put in a pointless half an hour of naturalistic footage to narrate the history of life in a frantic effort of justifying a title that doesn’t have anything to do with the main “plot”. The naturalistic footage itself is pretty spectacular, but again… dinosaurs? Half of the history of life is CGI dinosaurs? In a movie like this, where the presence itself of a section about the history of life is incredibly useless? Why don’t you just stick with the real footage?Seriously, the CGI bacteria and amoebas were lame, you could have just used real images of those organisms and the result would have been much more beautiful.

And what was that theropod? We’re in late cretaceous (the other dinosaur shown is a Parasaurolophus), that predator looks like a coelurosaur and yet it has no feathers (and its palms were faced to the ground, while they should be facing each other – a common mistake in depicting dinosaurs). Also, as I’ve anticipated, this is probably the first instance of a predator with a sense of mercy: it doesn’t kill the small Parasaurolophus, but decides to let it live. Yeah, I call bullshit on that. Maybe god spoke to it or something.

Fuck this movie. Fuck it.

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2 comments on “Popcorn Biology: The Tree of Life (2011)

  1. Vincenzo Maccarrone (Falce) says:

    I can’t stop laughing..

  2. Thanks! I’ve got a couple other “Popcorn Biology” articles here if you like this kind of stuff.

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